My husband is in a bromance. A multi-men bromance actually.
I chose this definition of bromance from Urban Dictionary to describe his relationships:
The intense complicated love shared between two heterosexual males that consists of but not limited to – wrestling, numerous man-dates, and tons of stories that will only remain between the two.
Also a form of male bonding to such a point where they start to seem like a couple.
This bond is normally only shared between two males that have a deeper understanding of each other, in a way no woman could ever realize.
In the first couple years of our relationship, I had a really hard time understanding their friendship. There’s a group of seven of them that call themselves the Wet Bandits. They speak a language that is hard to understand. Most of it stems from inside jokes that take time to pick up on. There’s lots of teasing that goes on and there seems to be fluctuations with who’s close to who at different times but at the end of the day it’s a seriously SERIOUSLY tight group of friends.
As a female attempting to enter this group, or at least trying to maintain a relationship with one of them, it’s extremely intimidating. (Imagine a cat trying to hang out with a group of dogs… no pun intended). I struggled for a while with trying to figure out my place in the group. Every time one of them would start to date a girl it was a huge relief as I looked forward to having someone to share my confusion with. The guys are nice, they just like to tease and it’s important to maintain thick skin when you’re around them. There haven’t been too many times that I’ve felt like things were said or done with malicious intent but it all can be tough to decipher.
If the teasing isn’t enough to put up with, there are the constant stories of their pastimes: when Luke wore a robe and slippers and brought a pillow to summer school, or when Chris saved a kid from drowning in a wave pool, and then there’s the story of Jimmy Hot Cock, and the countless memories from parties at the lake house. I think I’ve heard them all a hundred times but yet somehow their laughs are contagious and I too can’t help but smile when they tell them.
My husband and I have been together for four years now and there were many times I seriously questioned if I could deal with this group for the rest of my life but over time I’ve noticed their affection toward me. Like when Dan helped me get an interview for a job, Josh saved my life on a cruise, or when Chris confided in me with his relationship drama. I’m not sure if it’s because my husband has such a close bond with them or if I do genuinely like them, but I know they have worked their way into my heart. Maybe I just feel obligated to see them all succeed so they can find decent women and I don’t have to deal with them alone.
The whole thing continues to amaze me. A bond like that is hard for me to comprehend. Maybe it’s because I’m used to having friends come and go, maybe it’s because no matter where their lives have taken them they always end up together. I enjoy seeing them together because they enjoy it.
One thing I am sure of: When I said “I do” on October 18, 2014 I signed an eternal contract with my husband and his six bromances… and I’m OK with that. 🙂
Photos by JP Ball Photography
Special shout out to the bromance group from my graduating class at Waynesville High School! ❤ Miss you guys!
Check it out:
Self Magazine: Why His ‘Bromance’ is Healthy for Him (and You!)
Interested in starting a Bromance?: How to Start a Bromance